Smile
by madelinear
Summary: Depressing little song fic. Satine came back from the walk of shame. PLEASE read. I beg of you.


Smile  
by Sugar Princess  
  
Dedicated to: My wonderful GRR girls, and my late Tio Renaldo, God rest his soul.  
Song: 'Smile', by someone I don't remember, but it's not mine.  
  
  
  
Satine opened the door. She moved to her dresser, and slowly pulled out hat pins, and then removed her hat.  
  
Thunder rumbled above her head. She did not take much notice of it, as she comtemplated suicide. She could slice her wrists with a hat pin, couldn't she?  
  
What about absinthe? She had heard of people drinking too much absinthe and falling into a slumber they never awoke from.  
  
She belonged to the Duke now. Completely. Body and soul.   
  
What little left of her there was.  
  
"I'm dying." she whispered again.   
  
Satine had always had a dim notion that while other could die, she would not. After all, wasn't she the most popular diamond? Wasn't she the most sought-after, the most adored? Who'd want to kill a sweet young thing such as herself?  
  
She now knew that death liked his victims young and pretty.  
  
A diamond took the plunge of death and slid down her cheek. Accustomed to hiding feelings, she quickly brushed it away.  
  
She sat down at her vanity. She gazed at herself in the mirror. She still had her pretty face. But she was pale, so pale. And her cheeks were growing hollow.   
  
Another tear took life and slipped out of her eye, and this time, Satine chose to ignore it. Who was there to care if she cried anyway? No one loved her anyway.  
  
"You're a monster." she whispered to her reflection. "I hate you."   
  
Another tear jumped out. "You deserve to die." she hissed bitterly. "Who could love you? You're nothing but- nothing but-" she could hardly bring herself to say the word. "Nothing but a whore." She dropped her head in shame, but then, in defiance of her own face, she looked back up. "How could he love you?"  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror some more, until she was startled by a gasping noise. She was shocked to find it was herself sobbing.  
  
She pressed a fist to her mouth, wanting to drown the noise, but it refused to be quieted. More gasping wails came from her mouth unbidden, until Satine finally gave up and cried her heart out.  
  
When she was finished, she found herself very tired, and somewhat relieved. The burning pressure in her chest had subsided, and she lay quietly on her bed, curled up and hugging a pillow. Every now and then a tear would roll down her cheek.  
  
And then, there she was. Marie. Darling, sweet Marie, come to comfort Satine like the mother hen that she was. She wordless pulled Satine to her and rocked her while her tears started afresh.  
  
"Smile,though your heart is aching, " Marie whispered. Satine shook her head into her shoulder. She was certain she could never smile again.   
  
"Smile, even though it's breaking." Marie continued. "When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by if you smile through your fear and sorrow.  
Smile- and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun come shining through   
For you."  
  
She stroked Satine's cheek tenderly, wiping away a tear in the process. Satine's face crumbled again, and she fell onto Marie weeping.   
  
"Light up your face with gladness. Hide every trace of sadness- although a tear may be ever so near-"  
  
She pushed Satine away to make her hear her words. "That's the time you must keep on trying. Smile- what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just smile." She patted Satine's back. "Chérie, everything will get better, you'll see."  
  
Satine shook her head. "I'll never smile again." Her chin quivered, and she bit her lip in effort to hold in another sob. She knew she was becoming like one of those heartbroken lasses she had scoffed so many times. 'Get over it' she'd bark, flapping a hand at them to get them to work. "He's gone. I've lost him."  
  
"That's the time you must keep on trying," Marie said seriously. "Smile- what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just smile." 


End file.
